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All things toddler,  Surviving motherhood

Are You A Helicopter Parent?

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Picture this… Someone just called you a helicopter parent and your trying to think “what the heck does that even mean”? Is it a complement on my awesome parenting skills or a negative remark about how I’m raising my children? Keep reading to learn what a helicopter parent is; figure out if your a helicopter mom, is it a good or bad thing, the effects it has on your child and what to do now.

What is a helicopter parent anyway?

According to Dictionary.com helicopter parenting is defined as “a style of child rearing in which an overprotective mother or father discourages a child’s independence by being too involved in the child’s life: In typical helicopter parenting, a mother or father swoops in at any sign of challenge or discomfort.

Is this starting to sound like you? You can be overprotective and not be a helicopter parent. So how can I find out if I am one or not?

How to tell if your a helicopter parent

Where does the term “helicopter parent” come from you ask? It was first used around 1969 in a book called “Between parent & teenager”. The term helicopter is referred to as a parent hovering over their child in an overly protective manner.

Signs your a helicopter parent

1. You only let your children play places you can see them 100 % of the time.

2. The first thing you do when your child comes inside crying from playing in the backyard, is to figure out what happen so you can correct the situation instead of letting them figure it out themselves.

3. Your posture is out of whack from bending down and following your kids every move (because what if they need me and I’m not there).

4. You have a mini stoke thinking about your kids going to school when you can’t be there to help guide them.

5. You don’t allow them to help with household chores because your afraid they might get into something they shouldn’t. After all we can’t keep the house baby proofed for life, or can we?

6. You do your child’s homework more often then not instead of helping them work through it.

7. You don’t allow your child to take risks in fear of them getting hurt.

8. You don’t allow your child to learn on their own.

9. It hurts you to your core to see your child fail, even when a valuable lesson will be learned.

10. You train their trainers. You don’t allow their teachers or daycare instructors to guide them in their own way.

11. You constantly do things for your child that they are capable of doing themselves.

Does this sound like you now? So you are a helicopter parent, what’s the big deal?

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Effects of being overly protective

1. Creates anxiety and depression

According to psychology Today, children whos parents were overly involved (helicoptering) were more likely to develop anxiety and depression later on in life.

2. Grow up feeling entitled

Your children grow up thinking they are the center of everyone’s universe. Because for their whole adolescent life, they were.

3. Developed emotional problems

Kids with “helicopter parents” don’t learn how to regulate their own feelings. Therefore creating emotional problems when they are older because they never learned how to handle or manage their own feelings.

4. They don’t learn how to be independent

5. Creates social awkwardness

This is because the child is so used to their helicopter parent swooping in and saving them in every social aspect. They don’t learn how to handle social encounters for themselves.

Being a helicopter parent does not mean that you are a bad parent. Most of the time us mammas don’t even know we are being so overly protective or that its a bad thing until someone points it out.

We are simply trying our best to guide our babies to the best life we can.

Can we stop being a helicopter parent? My opinion is YES! It might not be easy but it will be totally worth it when your child grows up with the skills they need to have a healthy, successful life.

Want to remember this list? Pin now to your favorite Pinterest board to come back to later.

What is a helicopter parent plus signs you might be one

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I am a loving wife of 5 years and mother of a beautiful, smart and ever growing one year old, whom I can talk about endlessly! My main goal in life, besides being the best mother and wife I can be, is to be a resource for mothers to help you live the best life you can. Do you ever feel like you have a bigger purpose in life then just living out your days? This is a constant feeling of mine and its my main motivation for starting this mom blog! We will talk about everything from; pregnancy, baby and toddler related. From their dirty diaper to keeping them entertained in a healthy way to finding ways to organize your home for easier cleanup, so there can be more you time!

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